Archive for August, 2014

On this episode of Let’s Get Real…”And if it’s not made from cream, which comes from milk, which comes from a nipple, it’s not butter, either!”…

Just a week has gone by since my rant about non-milk milks, and I’m still all fired up. About what this time, you say? Well, about other non-stuff-stuff. This time, it’s non-butter butters. Not just the easy targets like margarine and Country Crock-o-Sh*t spreads, but all the other non-butter butters, like nut butters, apple butter, body butter (what IS that?) and the most egregious, the most freakadelic of ’em all, COOKIE butter. Have we fallen into total anarchy? Is there no decency, are there no standards left on this shrinking, desiccated planet? Well, that might be a little reactionary, but wtf is cookie butter?
So, this week, it’s down into the Foodiness™ Fallout Shelter lab for some forensic investigating. Please don your lab coats and safety goggles, and follow me downstairs. Who knows whom we will run into? Kurt Vonnegut, perhaps? Hmmm…

On this episode of Let’s Get Real, come with me on a trip to the land of metaphor, euphemism, fake boobs, and non-milk milks, a.k.a Los Angeles! After my western journey, I return with tales of the frontier. Cowboys, indians, actors, vegans, the whole bunch…but actually, it’s really all about language today, and deception, as if a show about Foodiness could ever be about anything other than deception! And also about how we lack the words we really need, and misuse the ones we have, especially when it comes to naming the foods masquerading as other foods, which is kind of what Foodiness is all about, and what LA is kind of really all about too, except not food, but people. Confused? Good, maybe you’ll listen to me for once! Oh, and while we’re still talking about it, what the hell is a “buzzgack”? Tune in to find out…