Archive for March, 2012

Episode: 25

You’re Being Infantilized By Fiber Bars


In tonight’s episode – You’re Being Infantilized By Fiber Bars – I get real about foodiness infantilization; how pre-preparing everything we eat and feeding us cookies, candy and Kool-Aid packaged as healthy food enhanced with nutrition is turning us into permanently dependent children; why foodiness manufacturing wants to infantilize us – because it makes us completely dependent on foodiness and unable to see that fiber comes from vegetables, not chocolate chip flavored fiber bars; how using foodiness to turn us into children who believe anything we’re told turns us into gullable children in every other aspect of our lives (see adults fixated on how many “friends” they have; grownups dazzled by toys they can’t put down; the Real Housewives); and how to realistically grow the fu*k up across the board, which is just to eat real food.

Episode: 24

Performance doesn’t come in a bottle


Do you work out? Lift weights? Pump iron? Why? For strength and health, or something else?…Do you want to be big, pumped, massive? Sure, lots of us want to be that. Or fit, toned, lean, muscled, whatever. And whatever our fitness goals, Foodiness has an app for that.  Did Hercules need to drink X-treme-max-power-metrix-carbo-whey-formula? Or did he need to just lift a lot of heavy stuff and eat real food? Do you? All those sports and fitness Foodiness products do for you is take you so far down the rabbit hole that there’s nothing left to eat on the other side! Wanna get ripped? Or just ripped off? Plus, a story of a tiny bodybuilder who kept his appendix, but lost his stones…

Episode: 23

They don’t sell food at 7-11…


Sometimes I just can’t even believe that  a mere 150 or so years ago, to get across this massive country of ours, you’d have to hitch up your horses, pack up 3 months worth of non-perishable food, load up your rifle, pack up the family, and set off in a wagon. Made of wood. With no real roads and nary a town west of the Mississippi ’til you hit LA, (if you made it all the way), you were seriously on your own. With no rest-stops, no Panera and Quik-Check, and Iron Skillet guiding you westward, I find it hard to believe that people even made it. How did we manage to settle across such a gigantically freaking huge land mass in just 200-odd years? Using horses, and wagons? 

I know people made it ok, like the Ingalls, my favorite family, and thrived and all, but not everyone was so lucky, or smart, or maybe just good at finding food. I’d like to think I would have made it, I’m pretty resourceful, and semi-tough, and despite my weekly rantings, not too picky about food. Not that pickiness would play any part in trans-continental survival. Eat or be eaten would be my motto. (still kind of is)

So why is it so hard for me now, in our world of endless-food-at-our-fingertips, to ever find something to eat when I’m on the road? The modern, paved, petroleum-fueled road lined with food options. Maybe because in that 150-odd years, we’ve turned our food into Foodiness, and I was really meant to travel by covered wagon, not by Subaru Forester or Southwest?

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