On this episode of Let’s Get Real…”And if it’s not made from cream, which comes from milk, which comes from a nipple, it’s not butter, either!”…
Just a week has gone by since my rant about non-milk milks, and I’m still all fired up. About what this time, you say? Well, about other non-stuff-stuff. This time, it’s non-butter butters. Not just the easy targets like margarine and Country Crock-o-Sh*t spreads, but all the other non-butter butters, like nut butters, apple butter, body butter (what IS that?) and the most egregious, the most freakadelic of ’em all, COOKIE butter. Have we fallen into total anarchy? Is there no decency, are there no standards left on this shrinking, desiccated planet? Well, that might be a little reactionary, but wtf is cookie butter?
So, this week, it’s down into the Foodiness™ Fallout Shelter lab for some forensic investigating. Please don your lab coats and safety goggles, and follow me downstairs. Who knows whom we will run into? Kurt Vonnegut, perhaps? Hmmm…