In tonight’s episode — You Can’t Have A Proustian Fruit Moment With A Pouch of Squeezy-Fruit Either — I get ever realer about what foodiness™ has done to fruit than I did on last summer’s fruit episode; how, like Michael Douglas playing Liberace or tourists descending on Chelsea, cherry-flavored sports drinks and watermelon-flavored gummies give us simulated fruit experiences without the risk and rewards of the real thing; how, yes, it’s true that if you drink a diet peach-flavored Snapple you know exactly what you’re going to get and if you bite into an actual peach you don’t, but you could have a Proustian peach experience you remember for life, while nobody is making indelible life memories drinking Snapple; and how all you have to do these days to be a risk taker and a rebel is eat an apple instead of an apple-flavored breakfast bar…and if that isn’t enough to make you only eat real fruit, just think of the Instagram possibilities!
In ten years will you remember the perfect diet peach-flavored Snapple or the perfect peach?
So if you don’t want to eat shit or have a safe and meaningless existence, tune in!
