I Was a Child Cheez Doodle Addict

tonight’s episode of Let’s Get Real, I Was a Child Cheez Doodle Addict, I pack up my Walkman and my copy of Let’s Go; Europe 1986, and my little address book and my down sleeping bag all into my giant frame backpack and head off to the old country. Didn’t everybody do this? Schlep around Europe for a month or two during a college summer? And what did you eat the most? What cheap staple food combination did you shove into your pack for that overnight train to Florence? Bread and cheese, of course! The two staples of European life. You could live on that sh*t forever if you had to…

But back home, in the dorm, where you had a toaster or a hot plate? Then it was grilled cheese city all the way. Also an excellent staple food for the impoverished student. As long as you used REAL cheese and not Foodiness™ cheeze…but if you did, I don’t even want to know, ok? Lalalalala…I’m not listening to you…Well, at least you were “cooking”.

So then how did we get to this point? What point is that, you ask? The point where we have grilled-cheese-flavored puffy corn snax and mac-n-cheese flavor too… How? How did this happen? Yes, cheez doodles have existed since the Eisenhower years, along with puffy corn snax in all forms, but now we’re flavoring them like cooked food preparations. Not just cheez flavored, but grilled-cheese flavored…I mean, I could see red velvet flavor, or birthday flavor, but grilled cheese? Jeez.