One of these things just doesn’t belong here…especially between two pancakes

Let’s discuss McDonalds’ new pancake chicken sandwich…available only in Ohio, and only for a limited time. Yes, you heard me right, the pancake chicken sandwich. I dunno the actual name, the McChickCakeWich? The McPansSandChick? Somebody tell me please.

So this new work of food-esque genius comes from a franchisee in Ohio, who cleverly took a McChicken fried chicken breast-esque filet, and sandwiched it between two McGriddlers buns. It’s not actually sandwiched between pancakes, which btw are called hotcakes in the McD’s vernacular, but rather those weird syrup-flavored semi-rigid bun things that the house of Ronald serves in breakfast sandwiches, that aren’t English muffins either. I think they’re like thicker, more spongy, more rigid pancake-esque bun halves, with the syrup BAKED RIGHT IN! So that it doesn’t make a sticky mess all over the car seat and the Ipad screen when your fat-fingered Wall-E kids eat breakfast in the minivan on the way to their endocrinologists appointments.

So this franchisee in Ohio, because where else, created this new sandwich sensation, and apparently it’s just selling like…like, well you know, like hotcakes. But they’re not using hotcakes, or pancakes, they’re using Mcgriddlers, which, have I mentioned, have the syrup BAKED RIGHT IN?!

So sandwich two Mcgriddlers around a fried, simulated chicken-breast-shaped filet of something formerly known as chicken, and you’ve got yourself the biggest culinary success story since the Cronut? Enough of a story to make the Today show and national news headlines? Uhh, yeah. I mean it’s not like there’s anything else going on in the news lately, kind of a slow news cycle right now. Amirite? Actually, I’d rather look at a McChickPanWichCake 24/7 then have to look at the big orange pancake face of a certain candidate. Again, amirite?

So…What sparked this new culinary delight? Turns out, this is the franchisee’s attempt at a hand-held version of the chicken and waffle, I think. Since The Ronald has yet to introduce waffles, and I can’t imagine why not, although I’m sure they’re in the red and yellow striped pipeline, I guess the Mcgriddler bun is a good stand-in. The Egg McMuffin emerged as a handheld version of the eggs Benedict brunch warhorse, so why not make chicken and waffles portable too? Who needs cutlery anymore! Down with silverware, it’s only for elites and the 1%! Ban the knife and fork, too dangerous for our precious offsprings’ little fingers! Give ’em guns, not sporks!