In tonight’s episode — Big Foodiness Gets Occupied — I get real about how to snatch food back from the jaws of corporate foodiness with Occupy Big Food co-founder Kristin Wartman; why the McDonalds and Applebee’s crowd or the garden burger and protein bar crowd should care about how their chicken fingers or their Tofu Chik’n Fingers are produced; Wartman’s theory that the Sarah Palin chocolate chip cookie defenders identify with their corporate food kidnappers a la the Stockholm Syndrome; and whether the Occupy Big Food message can realistically get out to the mainstream in time to save food for the future or if real food is going to be permanently replaced by foodiness like Facebook has replaced friends and reality shows have replaced talent.

Tonight, finally! A new live show! “Food is already smart…” On tonight’s all-new live show…Don’t lie to me and tell me that my food is “smart” or “enhanced” or a “better choice”, that’s all just Foodiness, and I KNOW what real looks like, tastes like, and smells like, and it doesn’t look like that stuff.

And I know how to COOK it, despite a childhood filled with James T. Kirk, 2001 and the Flintstones (remember Gazoo?) predicting pellets, pills and simulators. Sci-Fi may have told us that science and technology would bring us better, enhanced, smarter food in the future, but the future is now, and I’m not seeing all that much that impresses me. In fact, Foodiness seems to be the direct descendent of Soylent Green, and we know how that all turned out. Thank Jeezus I watched more “Little House” than “Battlestar Galactica”…I’d rather eat dinner with Laura and kiss-ass Mary, than with James T. and Scotty. Well, I’d rather eat their food, actually, the rest of the night might be more fun with the Enterprise gang….Anyway, my food is already smart, ‘cuz it’s REAL. So screw you Foodiness!

Also, a word or two about poop.

Tonight, on “Let’s Get Real”, it’s Kids Foodiness Time! Guess what? Our kids aren’t falling down the rabbit hole anymore like us, they’re being born in it! From that first sip of name-brand formula in the hospital, to that first bite of store-bought baby food to those first veggie puffs, and then the all-important first Happy Meal, the littlest consumers of all have those cute fingers and toes completely ensnared in the corporate-culture Foodiness Matrix! And unless we pull ’em out now, they may never survive it! Listen tonight to find out how to save the little buggers. First step, eat the little toy in the happy meal, not the meal.