FLOG: The Foodiness Blog

On this episode of “Let’s Get Real”…Uh oh..We’re in trouble. Lil’ Baby LGR, after celebrating her/our 100th birthday show, got a very angry letter in the mail. No, not an angry letter from someone who challenges my use of olive oil for sautéing in some dumb old About.com video, or someone who calls me an “angry smirking lesbian” (as if there were something wrong with being THAT!) for my performance on Chopped, no, not one of those letters. Then who from, you ask? And then you say, “wait a minute, before you tell us who, did you say a “letter”, in the “mail”? Yes, a letter. On paper. From Lil Baby LGR’s older brother, “Why We Cook”, do you not remember him? Oh, come on! He had (approx) 100 episodes on Heritage Radio Network too, but now he’s off the air, and off at camp, and he’s mad at us. For what, you ask?…Well, you’ll just have to tune in and listen, because it’s all in the show. So put down the diet iced tea and fat-free frozen muffin tops, cut off a big slice of watermelon and crack open an IPA instead, and pull up a lawn chair. You have 28 minutes to spare for me and my little family, dont’cha?

Happy birthday to US! Happy birthday to US! Happy birthday dear Let’s Get Reeaaaaallll, Happy birthday to US! Today is LGR’s 100th episode, and we celebrated by attending the annual Fancy Food Show in NYC. And boy, what a fancy food show it WAS! So fancy, I felt underdressed. And you know I’m usually quite a fancy dresser. So, in this week’s episode, we take you along through the five thousand or so aisles of the biggest food and Foodiness™ infested trade show of the year; tasting, snacking, schmoozing and elbowing our way to the good stuff like the pro’s that we are. Who knew there were a million or so variations on the kale chip, or the seasalt caramel? Well, now I know, because I tasted them all…ick.

Let’s say some random afternoon you walked into the DMV (not the DMZ because if you walked into there you’d be shot), and the clerk who was “assisting” you with renewing your license, or taking the written test, or the road test or whatever, said “let me ask you a question, do you need to know how to drive to get a drivers license? I’m just wondering because I see all these people driving here, and doing stuff here with their cars, and it looks kind of fun, but I can’t drive. Is it mandatory?” Let’s just say that happened to you, just try to imagine it, now visualize your reaction, and that will get you ready for today’s show “New Bold Funfetti is Neither Funner nor Fettier… please discuss” In which I go deep into demented deception, classic cluelessness and food ignorance (fignorance?), via a strange conversation I had with an employee at my local YMCA. Live today at 1:00 pm on Heritage Radio Network.org or later today on letsgetrealshow.com

Oh and did I mention this is episode 99? Yeah baby! Like Barbara Feldon on Get Smart! Sorry, if you’re under 40, and have ever eaten Funfetti, that reference is probably lost on you. It’s ok, plenty of other fun stuff is relevant to you, you self-involved millennials…