In tonight’s episode – Trending Now: Cancer Walks Sponsored By Cancer Water, Zero Calorie Snoozberry Flavored Water That Puts You To Sleep And Probably Also Causes Cancer, And M & M Flavored Real Honey – I get real about the latest trends down the Foodiness™ rabbit hole; how already endangered bees are foraging at M & M plants and producing M & M flavored honey, which is like the Foodiness rabbit hole turning into a black hole from which real food cannot escape; how cancer fundraising walks sponsored by artificially flavored and colored bottled water known to cause cancer is like a Foodiness solution to a Foodiness-made problem to a Foodiness solution; and how the newest Foodiness zero-calorie “snoozeberry” flavored “sleep” water is just another example of our belief that Foodiness products will solve all of our problems, as well as cause them, and then solve them; and how maybe if we just exercised, drank water from the tap and had a puff of weed if we needed it we’d sleep just fine and not get cancer…but might just have to raise your own bees after all.
So if you don’t want to eat shit or drink shit or get cancer from shit and you do want your sleep and you don’t want to eat M & M flavored real honey, tune in!
In tonight’s episode – If You’re Still Consuming Diet, Lite, Zero or “Healthy” Anything You Obviously Haven’t Listened To A Word I’ve Said – I get real about diet Foodiness™ products; about how every study in the universe shows that the artificial sweeteners in diet products make us sick, but, more important, fat – after all, when is the last time you saw a thin person drink Coke Zero or pull out a stack of Lean Cuisine’s from their grocery cart?; how, if you want to eat or drink something diet, lite, zero calorie and healthy, drink water or eat a carrot, but for god’s sake if you don’t know this by now what are you listening to this show for? Oh! Of course, to make fun of people who don’t know any better.