In tonight’s episode – The End Is Near (Again) And You Better Get Used To Eating People And Protein Bars – I get real about what to eat after this Friday’s Armageddon; how all those urban hipsters with their dirty shirts and long beards and roof top gardens will be de-ironized and really will be dirty and unshaven and really eating from that garden, and not just Instagramming about it; 
how you should put your device down and meet your neighbor because you’re probably going to have to eat them if you want to survive, and you might as well get to know them first; how, if eating your neighbor makes you queasy, just think of it as post-apocalyptic de-friending; and, most important, about how you can stay the right kind of people even in a post-apocalyptic world because if you’re living off protein bars, at least you know better, and if you’re eating people, well, at least it’s food. …and you finally got to kill that b*tch in 3B.
