A 7-Eleven not at an interstate rest-stop.
Sure, you probably already know they don’t sell food at 7-Eleven, and even when you travel, you’re not the kind of person who would shop there anyway. That wasn’t the point of the show — the point was that when you’re traveling, 7-11-level foodiness™ is pretty much your only option.
Looks like it might be your only option in the big city too: right now, 7-Eleven is invading Manhattan, with dozens already here and with plans to open 100 stores in the next few years. Right now they’re really going for the jugular by invading the East Village. So tonight I’m pre-recording an interview with the two leaders trying to put a stop to a new 7-Eleven on 11th Street and Avenue A — legendary Lower East Side titans Bob Holman and Rob Hollander. We’ll run the interview in a week or two — we need time to promote the show. After all, if a show airs without PR, does it make a sound?
That’s why I have a publicist for Let’s Get Real — so I don’t have to know the answer to that question. In the meantime, I suggest you give a listen to the (albeit unintended) prequel to the upcoming show on 7-Elevens in the East Village — They Don’t Sell Food at 7-Eleven.
In it, I get real about travel foodiness™; how traveling is one of the most difficult situations to find and eat real food in; how it’s historically a tough one (while on his way back from Troy, Odysseus was almost eaten by a Cyclops while trying to steal one of the monster’s pigs; the Joads killed their last pig to make sure they had snacks on the road; the Donner party ran out of food and had to eat each other); how to realistically eat less foodiness™ while traveling—bring your own food if you can; chicken wings eaten at the bar are better than a protein bar; drive-through plastic tomatoes are better than the hamburgers; a cocktail and an Ambien are better than airplane food; and how, the fact is that, while traveling, you’re just going to have to lower your standards.
If you want updates on something besides your roommate’s sister’s new triplets, follow No 7-11 NYC on Twitter
And if you want to like something besides your girlfriend’s posts on Beyonce’s very important lip synching scandal, go to: No 7-11 NYC on Facebook
You might also follow the actually important blogs EV Grieve and Vanishing New York, both of which are doing the real journalistic dirty work on the Slurpifying of New York.
And if you don’t want to eat shit—and you don’t want to be Slurpi-fied—tune in next week (or the week after, not sure yet!) to Let’s Get Real!
In tonight’s episode — Trending Now: Bloody Butchers, Severed Pigs Feet, And Microwavable Lasagna Tainted With Meat — I get real about foodiness meat discoveries and real meat circle-jerks; how, if you buy foodiness lasagna you deserve to discover it’s tainted — only at least it’s tainted with food; how the newest real food elite fetish is bloody, Silence of the Lambs-style meat experiences — which would be okay if it weren’t for having to buy it from Hipster butchers covered in tattoos; how we’re as removed from the blood and guts of our meat as Drone pilots are from blood and guts of war — the only thing missing is an Xbox joystick; and how, if you can’t look a horse in the eye right before you eat it you’re never going to survive the apocalypse — and if there is any sign that the end is near it’s discovering meat in Ikea meatballs.