Do bros need their own yogurt? According to new men’s-only yogurt brand Powerful Yogurt they do. The real question is: do you think bros are dumb enough to buy it? Don’t answer that. Let me put it to you this way: yogurt isn’t for men or for women, it just is. Powerful Yogurt — or “brogurt” — isn’t for men or for women or for F2M transsexuals or aliens pretending to be men or even Janet Napolitano — it’s for chumps. It’s not that real men don’t eat yogurt, it’s that real people don’t eat “brogurt”. Get it? How about Chumpgurt!? I really shouldn’t be giving these ideas away for free.
So just in case you were at risk of falling off the foodiness™ gender-marketing wagon, let me refresh your memory that His And Hers Are For Hassidic Weddings and Antiperspirant, Not Food. In tonight’s you’re-making-me-repeat-myself episode, I get real about gender-specific foodiness™ marketing; how nutrition bars and instant oatmeal for women and gummy vitamins and diet sodas for men made of corn syrup and artificial sweeteners aren’t for any gender (even Jamie Lee Curtis); how separating genders is for gay bars, Hassidic weddings, and hair products, not food; how real food is for men, women, boys, girls, post-op trannies and every other gender, but foodiness™ is for suckers, and gender-specific foodiness™ is for super-suckers; and if you want to want to be manly show it in your moisturizer and if you want to be feminine let it show in your “skinny” vodka…like God and Grey Advertising intended.
As for brogurt, the real story here is that the broification of America is truly out of control. And while you should never eat shit, let the bros eat shit! …and while we’re at it, don’t you think Power Yogurt’s ad is just a little bit gay? I’m just saying…
So if you don’t want to eat shit — or Chumpgurt — tune in tonight to Let’s Get Real: The Cooking Show About Finding, Preparing and Eating Food.