In tonight’s episode — If You Think Chewing Energy Gum Will Help You Rock Climb, You Deserve To FallI get real about enhanced Foodiness™ gum; how, claiming that chewing it will “recharge your afternoon”, help you “run and cycle faster,” “make you fearless,” “support our troops” and put a “party in your pocket”, it seems the only thing gum can’t do today is cure impotence…although maybe that’s what putting a “party in your pocket” means; how, historically, gum was never considered to be food and didn’t make any claims – it was just for the tacky, the low-class, and for those cigarette-breath emergencies; how kids today are going to grow up thinking you get energy from gum with “flavor profiles”, just like they’ll grow up watching live concerts through their device screens instead of with their eyes…and who knows which is worse; and how, if you want to chew gum, chew gum, if you want energy or nutrition, eat food, if you want to rock climb, stop “liking” the Facebook pages of gum brands with images of rock climbers and fu*king learn how to rock climb.