In tonight’s episode – Ketchup’s OK, It’s Finding Something To Put It On That’s The Problem – I get real about what foodiness has not done to condiments. Looking on the bright side for the first (and probably last) time I report that, indeed, Soylent Green is people (as well as capsules made in China), Kardashians are not people, but ketchup, mustard, mayo and salsa are still food; ketchup is pretty much still made out of tomatoes, vinegar, sugar, salt and spices and has not been replaced with a “red” flavored doppleganger (yet), and mustard is still made out of mustard seeds, vinegar, salt and white wine and has not been replaced with a “yellow” flavored doppleganger (yet) so, unlike beef, eggs, milk, olive oil, soy chips, protein bars, blueberries, smart water, vegetables, fruit, salmon, chicken and tuna you can actually eat them and finally feel safe.*
*Deli mustard colored with turmeric root can give you lead poisoning.