If you answer “yes” to having ever eaten any of the above, then it’s straight to the new Cereal Wing at the Foodinss Reeducation Camp where, if you can resist eating cereal after a bong hit you get another bong hit — this time with the good stuff — and a buffet of all-you-can-eat real food and a DVD of Downton Abbey; and if you can’t resist, you’re sentenced to watching 24 hours straight of the Hallmark Channel.
In tonight’s episode – Cereal Is The Devil’s Work – I get real about the cerealification of food; how we were all raised to believe that cereal is food, as if there are fields where they grow Raisin Bran, Frosted Flakes and Froot Loops – but just give Monsanto time; how most of us don’t even really know what cereal actually is (processed grains, sugar, artificial flavors and colors) and we just accept it unquestioningly like we accept air, water, or Gayle King as a morning show host; and how, if you’re going to do the devil’s work, do the right kind – like having office affairs with inappropriately young coworkers or doing illicit drugs – not eating raspberry and chocolate flavored omega 3 enhanced whole wheat cereal flavored like raspberry and chocolate flavored omega 3 enhanced whole wheat cereal bars. So if you don’t want to eat shit and you don’t want to be cerealified and you want to do the right kind of devil’s work, tune in!