Archive for May, 2012

In tonight’s episode — Super Foods Are Super F*ed Up — I get real about what foodiness has done to “super foods”; how icons of power foods like olive oil, which is laced with chlorophyll, blueberries, which are toxic with pesticides, soy which give you man-boobs, and sardines which give you mercury poisoning have been knocked off their pedestals by corruption like John Edwards, Lance Armstrong and John Travolta; how finding out that all the foods that separate the soy and sardine-eating “us” from the 7-11 cupcake eating “them” can actually be really bad for you is enough to make you reach for those Omega-3 enhanced Oreos and hope for the best; and how to realistically deal with the knowledge that sometimes there are no right choices when it comes to eating real food — which is to make others feel inferior for not knowing.

In tonight’s episode – Veggie Puffs Are Turning Us Into Vegetables – I get real about what foodiness has done to vegetables; how we’ve been trained to associate the word “vegetable” with chips that have pictures of vegetables on the bags; fruit-flavored, high-fructose “vegetable juice”; loaded potato skins and Terry Schiavo, and have completely forgotten what a real vegetable is; how veggie puffs are turning us all into vegetables – how else do you explain Twitter, Mitt Romney and 50 Shades of Grey; how you don’t have to eat locally grown, organic, seasonal vegetables to get real – a frozen green been grown in Uruguay is always going to be better than a puff that is one step removed from spinach flavored Styrofoam; and how eating just one real vegetable a day can  lead to finding the gateway vegetable that puts you in the wholesome relationship with real vegetables that God intended.

In tonight’s episode – Ignorance Is Bliss…Until You Get Diabetes – I get real about the fact that getting real about food is not blissful; how living in a world where you just choose between the red and purple zero-calorie sports drink; the veggie puffs and the protein bar; or the salmon and the tuna feels blissful… until you get cancer, mercury poisoning, heart disease and/or diabetes; how opening up the menu and having to choose between the industrially raised corn-fed steak full of hormones and the industrially raised corn-fed chicken full of hormones can cause food-paralysis and First World eating disorders like Orthorexia (or fear of eating non-healthy foods), when the reality is that people in sub-Saharan Africa aren’t tortured over the fact that the grain of rice that just came off the U.N. plane has a big carbon footprint and is covered in pesticide residue; and how to accept the cold-hard realities of no longer being ignorant, which is to realize that at least you’re thin and can feel superior to people who don’t know any better.