Archive for 2012

In tonight’s episode – Believe in Butter – I get real about what foodiness has done to butter; how the campaign to topple real butter and replace it with foodiness “butter” began, as it always does, by demonizing the sinfully delicious real thing in the same way religion demonized sex, drugs and rock n’ roll; how foodiness’ allegedly better early alternatives – margarine and its poor relative Crisco – made from toxic hydrogented vegetable oils turned out to be as sickening a replacement as virginity, sobriety, and Hannah Montana; how butter is fattening but it’s also good for the brain and if we ate more real butter and less fake “butter” we’d be smart enough to stop believing in fake alternatives across the board (see Facebook, reality shows, Mitt Romney); and how to realistically get real about butter, which is, when you can, to buy organic and / or grass fed…but even industrialized real butter is better than butter you shouldn’t “believe” in.

In tonight’s episode – The End Is Near…What’s for Dinner? – I get real about what we’re going to serve for armageddon; how food manufacturing has removed us so far from the source of food that we understand as much about where our food comes from and how it’s produced as we understand how our cell phone works, how you can rewind the TV, and how Susan Lucci never looks a day over 35; how when the apocalypse comes – brought on by solar flares, a super volcano, nuclear meltdown, Secretary of State Sarah Palin – if we want to survive we had better be prepared; how to prepare – store lots of canned beans, honey, cereal and weed – although apocalyptic survival usually boils down to eating people (see Soylent Green, Logan’s Run); and the perks to the apocalypse, which is that you won’t have to pay your student loans after all and you finally make your goal weight.

In tonight’s episode — Super Foods Are Super F*ed Up — I get real about what foodiness has done to “super foods”; how icons of power foods like olive oil, which is laced with chlorophyll, blueberries, which are toxic with pesticides, soy which give you man-boobs, and sardines which give you mercury poisoning have been knocked off their pedestals by corruption like John Edwards, Lance Armstrong and John Travolta; how finding out that all the foods that separate the soy and sardine-eating “us” from the 7-11 cupcake eating “them” can actually be really bad for you is enough to make you reach for those Omega-3 enhanced Oreos and hope for the best; and how to realistically deal with the knowledge that sometimes there are no right choices when it comes to eating real food — which is to make others feel inferior for not knowing.