In tonight’s episode – Vodka Doesn’t Taste Like Birthday Cake Either – I get real about flavoring going even further down the foodiness rabbit hole; how birthday cake flavored vodka, Oreos, Peeps and Jell-o Pudding are the ultimate in foodiness™ infantilization…that is until they come up with Formula-flavored Oreos…or Oreo-flavored formula, but I really shouldn’t be giving these ideas away for free; and how if birthday cake flavored anything doesn’t make you retch you shouldn’t be listening to this show.

So if you want to retch over birthday cake flavored vodka and you want to feel even more superior to people who don’t retch, tune in!

In tonight’s episode — Biting Into A Pumpkin Spice Flavored Halloween Hershey’s Kiss Is Worse Than Biting Into A Razor Blade—I get real about how flavoring has ruined Halloween; how caramel apple flavored Milky Ways and pumpkin spice flavored Hershey’s Kisses make you wish you’d bitten into a Kandy Korn with a razor blade – and nostalgic for the good ol’ days; and how, if you’re going to eat pumpkin and apples eat pumpkin and apples, and if you’re going to eat Halloween candy eat Milky Ways and Hershey’s Kisses, otherwise you deserve to bite into a razor blade.

So if you don’t want to eat pumpkin-spice flavored shit or razor blades, tune in!

Tonight, on an all new Let’s Get Real…Life, Death, and Foodiness. After 10 days of hotel breakfast buffets I get real about the inescapable array of dead food in little plastic coffins, the loss of NYC icon Lou Reed, and the culinary prowess of Eleanor Roosevelt…? You’ll just have to listen, live at 6:30pm on heritageradionetwork.com or right here later tonight, or preserved for eternity on iTunes…