FLOG: The Foodiness Blog

In tonight’s episode – If What You’re Eating Has To Be Analyzed For Food Content You Deserve Diabetes – I get real about how little food is in our food; how lab scientists just came out with research that shows Chicken Nuggets are only half chicken meat…and when the Tea Party finds out they’ll probably protest to get it down to 0%; and how, whether it’s vitamin water and protein bars or Nuggets and Slurpees, if what people eat has to be analyzed in a lab they deserve to have fatty liver disease – the problem is that they’re dragging the elites down with them.

So if you don’t want to have fatty liver disease or eat Tea Party endorsed foodiness and you don’t want to eat shit, tune in!

In tonight’s episode – Eating Seasonal Is A Lifestyle Choice, Like Being Gay Or Watching PBS – I get real about the fact that we now all live under the foodiness dome of year-round plenty and availability, even us, the real food elite; how eating seasonally is now nothing but a lifestyle choice for us, but because global warming is giving us tomatoes and strawberries in October we won’t even have that soon;  how all the dystopian, post-apocalyptic films are coming true (Soylent Green, Logan’s Run, The Matrix, Wall-E) without any of the fun like sex, drugs and eating people; and, how if the only way we’re going to know what season it is anymore is by what colors the candy wrappers are at CVS you might as well add a little fun to this boring apocalypse by listening to Let’s Get Real.

So if you don’t want to have a boring apocalypse and you do want to live the seasonal lifestyle anyway because it makes you elite, tune in!

In tonight’s very special second anniversary episode – Erica Gets Rid Of All The “Negativity” In Her Life 2^ndAnniversary Special – I get real about trying to be “less negative” about this year’s top ten foodiness™ stories, such as:

• A non-ironic foodiness™ product actually called “Soylent Corps”
• The 7-Elevenification of Manhattan
• M and M Flavored Real Honey
• People that eat ads
• Ads that eat people

But the less “negative” point is that Armageddon is still around the corner and is going to put an end to all of this.

Special appearances by little Lexi and Hampton in their new Zen Suits, Erica shamelessly plugging her TEDx talk (again), texting nannies, toilet babies and a teaser for LGR’s Terrible Twos.

So if you don’t want to be “less negative” – especially about foodiness – and you don’t want to eat shit, tune in!